as i wait for the bus on kalanianaole, as i haul my recycling by hand and foot to aina haina elementary school, as i pick up my self-mandated minimum of one piece of rubbish from kawaikui beach park every time i visit [even when i have a surfboard under my arm], as i do these things i am subject to a dual sensation of contentment and sadness; the contentment of feeling like i'm doing my small part to add to the collective solution, the sadness of feeling like i'm the only one doing so, as new litter appears every time i visit the beach park, as my roommates thoughtlessly throw their recyclables in the rubbish, as the endless stream of one-passenger cars speeds past me on kalanianaole.

is this sensation just bourgeois guilt?
is my contentment self-serving?
is my sadness hypocritical?