the 'wintery' hawaiian weather (rain, wind, cool temps) has sparked that old creative impulse i get when i spend time indoors feeling cozy and safe from the elements, even here in the tropics ... thinking about creativity, different ways i've kept myself creatively inspired and engaged over the years. i've found myself in a job that could possibly end up being the last and main career of my life. it is a potentially secure, reassuring feeling; but as a longtime believer in some form of 'alternative' culture i'm also feeling a little stifled, a little complacent - like i've stopped searching, stopped trying. haven't played guitar in a long time. not surfing and not working out seem to be part of it too. i feel like i'm rapidly turning into THAT grownup.
i've made the 42-almost-43-year-old's new year's resolution to get back to the gym and back in the water; for my physical health, obviously, but also to help literally get the creative juices flowing, stir myself up. i'm remembering that warm glow of endorphins after a workout, how it seemed to cast a golden light and balm on everything, even your thoughts. a fleeting idea you may have dismissed in a flatter moment takes on new depth, detail, possibility. exploring the idea brings that familiar feeling of pleasure from the internal reward system. our bodies, our brains are supposed to work like this, on a regular basis.
so tonight i'm trying to blow on the coals of my imagination. imagining myself physically active on a regular basis in the new year, yes, but i'm also going to try to do one or more creative things, tonight.