A post from my sister Pam on Facebook today:

"In recognizing the tragedy that was '9/11' and the sensitive feelings that surround the day AND the site itself: I can only imagine the continuing pain that exists in the lives of those who lost so much on that terrible day.  OPINION / BTW: burning Korans and protesting Islamic Centers represent the kind of simple-minded, jingoistic mentalities which incited the kind of hatred that caused 9/11 in the first place.

"We are not at war against Islam.  We are fighting to dissolve the power that terrorist organizations, many who FALSELY USE the banner of Islam to promote their own agenda, have around this world.  In this fight, we need all the allies we can get, which especially includes the overwhelming majority of the people of Islam.  They have the most power to influence their brothers and sisters to reject the extremist’s twisted views."

And I might add to this my own OPINION / BTW: The mistrust, suspicion and judgement that many Americans hold against Muslims may be part of why many Muslims, in an instinctual effort to protect themselves from persecution, remain silent to avoid becoming a target.  I think many of us in marginalized / maligned communities have been guilty of this kind of silence at one point or another in our lives, and we all have to work together to overcome it!

‎while all you leather sluts are at the folsom circuit party on saturday 9/25, tom-A-hawk will be fulfilling his 3-year dream of seeing 
dirty projectors, at 
the fillmore no less, then it's off to 
slim's for 
blowoff with big daddy bob mould ... yay!

aloha kaua from midsummer hawaii!  i'm in the middle of a three-week run of the show i'm in @ work - a "follies"-style revue directed by the legendary, notorious, one-and-only jack cione.  after getting through my stage jitters on opening night, i really am having a blast; but, i'm also still kind of shaking my head in disbelief at where my path has taken me over the last three years.  the other cast members have been very supportive and i'm getting great feedback from the audiences ... the experience has absolutely transformed me, in its own funny way.  

that being said, i AM looking forward to finishing our run next weekend, leaving behind the performance anticipation that's been humming in the background for weeks, and finally being able to fully relax into a summer mode.  more specifically, of course, to get my summer surf groove back.  now, in my ongoing surf versus turf dilemma, i have to say that my 'turf' activity - the show - completely takes up any 'surf' slack i may be fretting over, and i actually have gotten myself to waikiki a few times to rent a board for $5 from surfboard tom [who used to give our gay surf club a group discount at one of the main, legit beachboy stands back in the day], and enjoy some 'good fun' waves at canoes.  once i even ran into my ex as i was getting out of the water and he was going in - was nice to have surfing bring us together again like that, just like it used to.  

but south shore wave season is upon us, and it looks like there's a nice little swell rolling through this weekend: 3'-7'+ faces today, solid 3'-5' tomorrow, slightly kona [southerly] winds at a very gentle 5-10mph, so i see a sunday surf in my very near future, "sCrunGE!" friends!  

since i moved to kaimuki it's been more difficult to get myself out surfing.  when tony asked me what i wanted to do for my birthday this year my immediate answer was to spend a long weekend at a hotel in waikiki and surf every day, like i used to do.  that's what we did, and it was great, but my birthday, february 8th, was the last time i went surfing.  turns out there is a world of difference between living within walking distance to your break and living far enough away that a vehicle is required to get you and your board to the water.  

i have access to a truck for the time being and i still don't go.  i think my challenge now is to grow my relationship to the ocean and my sport into something different from what it was for so long: the backbone of my relationship with steve, who was my partner for 15 years, now my ex.  i got used to surfing being the thing that defined and bonded us, and i was accustomed to the way we went about it.  making the choice to leave that relationship ultimately meant cutting myself off from that lifestyle, and that lifestyle WAS hawaii to me for so long.  now every time i go out it's a new, almost unfamiliar experience again; actually, finally being in the water is a comforting relief - it's the getting there that i'm having trouble with.  

when i first started drifting away from surfing frequently, it was the rainy winter of 08/09.  i was getting my garden started in aina haina and explained, to myself as much if not more than to others, that i was taking a break from 'surf' to work on 'turf' ... it was catchy and it worked.  i was, after all building a beautiful vegetable garden with an ocean view, and i don't really like to surf in the rain.  in the time since then my new relationship with tony took off faster than i ever planned or expected, and i've been able to extend the 'turf' concept to include all the hard work we've done over the last year to find and 'build' a place for ourselves.  first things first, and we've done pretty well so far.  i'm in love with our home, which is, despite the lack of a true 'yard,' and no offense to my parents or my ex, the nicest place i've ever lived.  

since we started settling down here we have started getting back to the beach.  i haven't been surfing, but i've been getting in the water regularly and that's really what it's all about: swimming with angelfish and rolling around in the shorebreak, relaxing on the sand with beach lunches + beers.  we go to kahala beach and look at the sweep of ocean and mountains from diamond head and black's point past koko head to maunalani heights and say, "this is our neighborhood."  we go to waikiki and mix with awestruck, elated and sometimes very cute half-naked tourists and say, "this is where we live."  

so i realize i AM growing my relationship to the ocean and hawaii.  it IS transforming from what was an idealized daydream of a distant escape to what is now a reality i wake up to every day.  all along as i've observed the distance that has grown between me and surfing - the core reason i moved to hawaii in the first place - i've never gotten down on myself too much, i think because i know that the distance is made of all the other good things i'm growing for myself here.  i have faith that i will return to the surf when i'm ready, and when that happens, crossing the distance won't be a challenge, but a joy.  

i've been telling myself that i'm going to write a real, live, full-format 'blog post this spring, and here it is. born of the type of blustery, stay-indoors night that used to inspire them back in minneapolis ... plus i'm listening to the current. =]

the wind and the rain are expressing the same dynamic between winter + summer, cold + hot that always marks this time of year.

fully expressed weather like this bonds me to my place, unifies my neighborhood in a common mood, a shared experience.

as this bond grows, i have been slowly growing my enthusiasm for the garden, now a carefully distributed collection of container plants: out back a collection of many different types of orchid arranged with lau'ae and bromeliad growing out of a log among other plants, under a row of bonsai with a buddha theme on the top of the backing wall, all visible from our bedroom window ... up front a group of prickly desert sentinels guards the front door - tall leaf-crowned cactus, large, just-bloomed aloe, recently re-potted lime.